she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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