This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
