i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
