Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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