playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
