oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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