I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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