i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
