We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The air was thick with penises
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
