i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
