doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
