i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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