Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You can't motorboat a personality
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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