I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
