woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
