Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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