Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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