Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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