New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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