Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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