I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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