Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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