So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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