would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize