whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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