only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
