I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
