never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
