I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize