so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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