How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
