Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
