you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize