So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
