bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
