we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
