Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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