Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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