Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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