Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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