I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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