I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
