i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
