he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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