I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
