Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
