why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
