I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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