I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
