Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize