Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
