is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
