Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
