Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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