Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
