I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
