Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
