Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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