Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
