need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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