Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
