you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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