Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
